In Chuck We Trust

If there was a Jobbed and Frustrated Hall of Fame, Charles Barkley would be a first ballot selection for sure. Even when he gets arrested for driving under the influence, Chuck is a cool guy. To the arresting officers, he bragged about a recent - and pending - sexual conquest and offered to tattoo his ass to get out of the DUI. I'm seriously contemplating a move to Alabama so I can elect Chuck governor in a few years.

Welcome to 2009, Donkies

10-3

If we're not going to make the playoffs, we better keep those assfaces from up north out as well.

Jobber: Dan from Mount Pleasant

Yes, I'm still alive.

Ouch!

Boom MFer

Two of the best hits you'll ever see.

Jobbed: Washington Huskies

An early nominee for the J&F Hall-of-Fame.

Trailing favorite BYU by seven with 8 seconds left in the game, Washington QB Jake Locker runs a QB draw, avoids two tacklers, and falls into the endzone. Touchdown Huskies. BYU now leads 28 - 27. In celebration, Locker toss the ball into the air - not in a taunting way, he's excited for f's sake. The refs flag Locker and force the Huskies to attempt the game trying extra point from the 35 yard line. Just watch:


After the block, the Huskies recover the onside kick, but another flag for offsides negates the play. With only 1 second remaining, the Huskies are forced to kick off deep, hoping for a fumble.

You gotta feel for Ty Willingham.

Jobbers: The GTG's

These guys also perform at Taco Bell drive-thru's. After watching this, the 'perfect option' would be jumping off a bridge.



Taco Bell is the perfect option.
The perfect option.
The perfect option.

Jobber: Ryan Cox

Generally, fantasy football has no place here, but the worst fantasy draft of all time deserves recognition. Ryan Cox of Huntingtown, MD has achieved this not so coveted honor. 10 Teams, 22 rounds, draft defensive players (Reed Doughty pictured Left), not team defense. I need not say more.

1.	(2)	Tony Romo
2.	(19)	Santana Moss
3.	(22)	Chris Cooley
4.	(39)	Adrian Peterson (CHI)
5.	(42)	Marvin Harrison
6.	(59)	Nate Burleson
7.	(62)	Ladell Betts
8.	(79)	Mike Vrabel
9.	(82)	Antwaan Randle El
10.	(99)	David Pittman
11.	(102)	Julius Jones
12.	(119)	Ray Lewis
13.	(122)	Shaun Suisham
14.	(139)	Reed Doughty
15.	(142)	James Reed
16.	(159)	Reggie Brown
17.	(162)	Mike Jenkins
18.	(179)	Brett Favre
19.	(182)	Ahman Green
20.	(199)	Marcus Washington
21.	(202)	Deion Branch
22.	(219)	Dominic Rhodes

Jobbed: Janos Baranyai

I'm sure you've seen it by now. Hungarian weightlifter Janos Baranyai, attempting to snatch roughly 328 pounds, dislocated his right elbow. Don't believe me? Watch for yourself:


Leave it to LSUFreek to put a college football spin on the injury.

Jobbed: New England's 'Perfect Season' Rings

Six months after blowing a chance at immorality, the New England Patriots received their 18-1, 'Perfect Season,' AFC champion rings. Why would you want something that reminds you of your biggest accomplishment and greatest failure at the same time? What's next, Bill Buckner's 1986 AL championship ring? When will Sidney Crosby get his 2008 Eastern Conference champions te--shirt? Whoever said "It's not about the accomplishment, it's about the journey" is full of shit.

BD: Top 25

Balls Deep breaks down the top 25.

Jobbed: USC Football

Competing for a national championship is tough. It's even tougher when your team comes down with a case of jock itch.

The USC Trojans, a top three preseason pick, is plagued with the crotch scratching epidemic known as jock itch. That early season match-up against Ohio State looks a lot tougher when you can't run three yards without rubbing your sac. It was, according to fake sources, a result of Matt Leinart's old underwear.
__________________________
Beer goggles, according to scientists, really exist.

The Florida Atlantic Owls calls Texas soft, predict upset.

Jobber: Zhang Liang

Liang did everything he needed to do in order to represent his country in the Olympics in Beijing, and on Saturday he showed up to compete in the 3rd qualifying heat in the mens single sculls. There was only one small problem, he was scheduled to run in the 2nd quailfying heat. Not only was Liang disqualified from the mens single sculls, he was also disqualified from the double sculls event, thus costing his country 2 medal opportunities. I would call him the Chinese Barret Robbins, but Robbins didn't get the Raiders disqualified from the Super Bowl. However due to China's long standing tradition of their acceptance of lack of dicipline, and their advocacy of human rights, Liang should be just fine. This is assuming that he has already defected to the United States, changed his name, and has had facial reconstructive surgery.

The Running Deuce

George Carlin once said, "I've seen things you've never seen, like someone taking a shit while running at full speed." Well, George, we can now join you in that elite group of 'witnesses to a running shit.' Behold: